If you have been struggling to find a partner for a while, you can get into a mindset of “needing” to find someone. This is ok in itself but you must be careful that you are not feeling this need to compensate for the other things going on in your life. There are certain circumstances when you should not start dating and wait until you are ready. Some of these scenarios are listed below.
Bereavement. This sounds really obvious but some bereaved people go out looking for love in an attempt to feel better. It is human nature that when we have suffered a bereavement we strive not to be alone. This however, is one of the the worst times to start trying to engage with another human being. You must embrace your grief and work it through you system before embarking on any new romantic entanglements. You can actually prolong your grieving if you engage in dating too soon after a bereavement.
Job loss. If you lose your livelihood then you need to focus on that. A job is a bit like a relationship, it takes time to get and it takes time to get settled into. You can’t do both at the same time and you will feel much more stable and self confident if you have a job before you embark on the dating scene.
Home loss. Don’t try to date someone who has their own home if you have suddenly become homeless. This has disaster written all over it. Unless you find a new home first you will be pursuing the other person out of your need for housing rather than a desire for them. Total carnage.
Depression. You probably notice a pattern here. If you are depressed you will go looking for a partner out of a need and not a want which is not fair on them. If you are truly depressed, i.e. have been very sad for more than a fortnight, you are forever crying and feel lost and tired all the time then getting a date will not fix these things. You need to take action on getting to the cause of these feelings and work them out before you will have any energy left to properly devote to another person.
Rebound. When we are dumped, which, by the way happens to all of us at some point, it is very easy to have the mentality of immediately going back out there and meeting someone new. The goal is to a) prove to yourself that you are still attractive and b) to show your ex how sexy and desirable you are and what a terrible mistake they have made running off with that total loser. Please try to put these thoughts from your mind, going down this route is again, feeding a personal need. This is not fair on yourself or your date.
Keeping these thoughts in mind can really help ascertain if you are ready to be dating or not.
Patrick has been writing about relationships online for a number of years. He has been writing lately about the amazing visco elastic foam mattress after he was persuaded by a friend to buy a queen memory foam mattress
Article Source:http://www.articlesbase.com/relationships-articles/are-you-ready-to-start-dating-again-1316816.html
Thu, Oct 8, 2009
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